Two werewolves for the price of one
by iheartharmonicas
Summary: AU Anakin finds out a secret... And becomes part of it as well...
1. Prologue: Living a nightmare

Prologue...

Pacing menancingly was an unfortunate villain who really wanted a slushie right now... Darth Vader. How could he think of slushies when he was stuck in questioning room on some unknown planet in the middle of nowhere he didn't know... He didn't even know it could be inhabited, what kind of galaxy is this if there's only one planet with oxygen and it only has one sun... Not even a gas station for the new gunship he got for Christmas... And he when he crashes in the middle of the desert some humans appear and plop him in this dungeon thing and he's supposed to wait patiently... Why didn't he force-choke the guy who came up from behind him?

All these questions Darth asked himself as he miserably waited in the cold room and dreaming of the new Deathstar he was about to get on his birthday (You can say it, Vader was spoiled). He was going to shop for a present for the Emperor and now what? Poor Emperor wouldn't get a new bumper sticker for his speeder this year in his Easter egg.

Suddenly some men came in green uniforms... _Wow, no plasticofoaminium on their uniforms... Geez and these paupers dare take me prisoner..._ _Don't they know what year this is..._ They escorted him to an even smaller room. Darth rolled his eyes, although you couldn't see due to the mask. Vader sneezed. An uncertain soldier handed him a hanky... Darth Vader looked at the guy cynically and felt like using the force to hit him upside the head but finding no objects blunt enough he decided against it. Then he decided to impress the soldiers by using the Force to teleport the hanky inside his mask and blew his nose. But then there was a disturbance in the Force and he couldn't teleport it out and was stuck with a booger soaked hanky stuck to his nose. He finally managed to teleport it out angrily using a bit too much Force sending the hanky projecting onto the Lieutenant's face as the important figure was being saluted. The Lieutenant screamed in a manner a bit too girly for anyone's liking. Vader was seized... again. _Oh, my Chancellor's monkey's bacon's girlfriend would they let me go already!_ Darth was pushed back into his previous drafty room... Suddenly he saw the ventilation shaft he tried to fit his head in their but the fashion designer of his mask definetely did not take in consideration Darth Vader's need to crawl through ventilation shafts. His head was now stuck. Suddenly a soldier came in to see Vader hanging in midair by the mask trying to use the Force to get out. Vader fell on to the floor and saw the soldier. "Well, hello there!" Vader said. The soldier yelped in surprise but quickly led Darth to a bigger warmer room, resembling Tatooine's climate better than the refridgerator he was in.

Darth Vader sat down across from the now free from hanky sediment Lietenant. Insert awkward silence "Ehem..." said the Lieutenant"Let's begin... Are you a nanny or a billy?" Vader was confused but decided to scare so he used his best menancing voice, " I am neither a sitter for tiny offspring nor is my identity described by the name Billy, state clearer human!" He added the "human" for further impact even though he was human also, burned, mutilated, limbless but still human.

The Lieutenant reworded, " Are you a dame or a dude?" Darth Vader raised a singed off eyebrow behind the mask. The Lieutenant asked again," Are you a madamoiselle or a monsieur?" Darth was silent. This language resembled one spoken by a certain giant flying bug on Tatooine. _Was this guy asking if I am male or female?_ "Are you coming on to me?" asked Darth. The Lieutenant squirmed in his seat and asked again, " Are you a guy or a girl?" Darth laughed a treacherous laugh. " Do I look like a woman to you?" asked Vader. "I don't know you could be..." said the Lieutenant, wondering if that was a rhetoric question. Darth Vader answered, " You people have issues on this weirdo wacko planet of yours" Lieutenant remembered the one-way glass the Major was probably looking through so he said in a stately manner, " You are on Earth, the greatest planet in this galaxy in Roswell, New Mexico..." But Vader didn't care, he was feeling queasy and everybody seemed to be talking so fast and the next thing he knew the Lieutenant was biting his leg.

Anakin shot up out of bed and saw Padme beside him... _Whew, it was all a dream..._ He was glad, Padme was beside him, the nice warm air flew in from the window,the full moon glistened, he had a gentle pain in his leg, he was home... Wait a sec... pain in his leg... _Ooooooooow! _ Pain not so gentle anymore. He looked down at his leg and saw a woman gnawing his leg...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Anakin in the same girly manner as the Lieutenant in his nightmare had. Padme mumbled drowsily, " What is it Annie? Did you lose your blanky again?" Anakin angrily shouted, " It's not a blanky, it's a necessary masculine cover for masculine men! And who is this woman chewing off my leg?" Padme sleepily opened her eyes and looked at the woman who stopped furiously gnawing to listen to the argument. Her hair was grayish white, she had the same eyes as Padme, but she was a bit hairier than any normal even unshaven woman should be. "Oh, hey sis, when did you come to town?" Padme said. Anakin girlishly squealed, " Sis?" Padme said, " Oh Sola you should have said something! I would have gotten the guest room ready!"


	2. Chapta One: Meet the Siblings

**Chapta One: Meet the Siblings**

**Hey! Meh' prologue was kinda short but this one will take longer. Much longer... so it might be up a while after the prologue.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars blah, blah, blah, yada yada yada.**

**As I don't have many reviewers yet... I shall thank one person who actually reviewed:**

**_SweetKrazy03: _Thank you for your support! I will change the way the quotes are formatted in this one: I promise!**

"But...but!" stammered Anakin.

"Oh, quit your whining Ani!" retorted Padme as she took her sister to a guest room.

She stayed in there for a while and Anakin was getting worried. He went down to make breakfast: his prize omelette with marshmellows on top. His hands were still jittering and he kept looking at his leg where he had sloppily pasted on an oversized bandaid. As he was pouring his mixture which had a strange greenish tinge to it into the blender he heard:

"HEY DAD! CATCH!" as a grayish looking moldy fish plopped into the blender.

Anakin had not noticed this incident and turned on the blender. As his son, Luke, looked as if his father had suddenly turned bald, mutilated, and limbless. The other twin, Leia, came in just in time to see the fish being swirled around in the blender and yelled loudly,

" Holy Cow off of Kashyyyk, that's my--" that's when Luke clamped her mouth shut.

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Anakin shrugged at Leia's exclamation, assuming she was talking about one of her many holo-music videos that Luke had lately been swallowing for no apparent reason, and continued onto his daydream about his cruise on one of Naboo's finest yachts with Padme. _We'll go alone. No children. Call up Yoda or Obi-wan or leave at one of those cute So, you have the unfortunate fate of being twins... and children of Jedi Masters. camps where they will be forced to love each other a tiny fraction more... or at least pretend to love each other. I can just picture it: the glistening sun, a yacht and Padme leaning forward to kiss him._ But his daydream abrubtly ended when Padme's face turned into the Lieutenant's and Anakin shuddered and decided he had blended the olive colored mixture enough.

Watching her father pour the grayish blender's contents into the frying pan was too much for Leia. As she turned around to scold Luke for his stupidy, she found out he was gone. She went to her room to spare herself the sight and sound of her father's agonized screams when he would eat the first bite of his breakfast. She didn't think today would be his day at all.

She was about to walk into her room when she heard sounds of rustling paper. Peeping into the crack in the doorway, she saw Luke victoriously picking up a holo-disk.

"Oh no you don't!" she screamed as she lunged, flying through the air across the room, tackling Luke. Who wasn't Luke at all...

"Auntie Sola? What are you doing here?" Leia asked in surprise, still on the woman.

"Ummm... I just arrived and your mother said that there was a documentary here called _Galaxy Wars: the Excruciatingly Boring Menace _because she said I needed rest" answered Sola.

"Oh, ok then." Leia said plainly, Sola let out a relieved sigh.

_Documentary? Extreme Podracing! Including bonus 12hr race. is the only thing close to a documentary in this house._

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Leia was still on her quest to find Luke. Their bedrooms were seperated by the guest room so she crept past Auntie Sola and tried to look in the keyhole of Luke's door. Figuring out that only works in holoflicks she opened the door a crack.

"AH--" she almost screamed.

Luke was dancing. Not just dancing, he was breakdancing. Not just breakdancing, he was failing at it too! And what was he foolishly attempting to dance to? None other than her holodisks! Leia decided she would discuss it with him later as she heard the expected shriek of her father.

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She ran down to the kitchen pretending to be surprised. But to her actual surprise her dad's plate was empty. As she looked up at her dad she saw the look in his eyes. He looked as if he had just seen Quigon squaredancing in a scuba suit. Luke came down later with all eyes on him.

"Hi dad!" he said as he walked casually to the living room turning on _The Force is Right_, a pointless game show of Jedi outcasts. Luke sat whistling and pretending to be amused. Gazes reverted back to Anakin as he rushed torwards the bathroom as if he was running off to defeat Count Dukoo instead.

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_After the storm had passed... the storm of pandemonium, shrieks (mainly Anakin's), and many flushings later..._

"Umm..Ani? Are you all right?" said Padme through the door crack.

Anakin proudly strutted out trying to look self-confident... As if he had just won a podrace and gained his freedom instead of barfing all over the bathroom. His light brown-chestnut hair was slightly ruffled. Padme stole a glance into the bathroom. What she saw made her cringe in fear or disgust, she didn't know. It was like entering a whole new dimension.

"Umm... I think I'll call up _Jolly Janitors of Jedi's_! Bye honey! I have to stop by at the mall for a haircut at _Supercuts_" quickly said Padme as she darted out of the house onto her speeder.

"Supercuts? What's wrong with normal cuts?" muttered Anakin as he shut the portal into the disgusting dimension he had recently created.

Anakin looked down at the two innocent looking beings he was abandoned with. The beings, realizing they'd been left alone with daddy, meaning they could do anything, caught an evil glint in their eye that made Anakin shudder. He sulkily went into his study to talk on his commlink. He decided he would call up some old friend and talk to him for hours as an excuse for letting the kids cause chaos.

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Luke darted into his room as Leia shook her head in disdain. She had to talk to that weirdo brother of hers and what in the world he thought he was doing snitching her holodisks! Peeking through the crack she saw Luke doing something more stranger than before. He was drilling a hole through the wall!She couldn't take the mystery of this any longer! She burst into the room about to scream when Luke made a motion to be quiet. He motioned her torwards him to look through the hole. Leia couldn't beleive her eyes... Auntie Sola was taking out some chain out of her suitcase and installing it in the wall. She was pretty sad doing it as if she regreted it.

"I think she's a cannibal planning to capture us in the night!" whispered Luke.

"No you doofus! She's going to chain herself!" retorted Leia.

"If she was going to chain herself why is there a knife on the table?" answered Luke.

"It's a pocket knife you moron!"

"Look!"

"Oh my good Easter Bunny of Tatooine! She's taking out a dagger!"

"See!"

"Fine, supposing she's going to eat us, what do we do?"

"We take the chains and lock our doors..."

"I wonder what she was doing with that holodisk she took from my room..."

"Oh, that... I asked her to get it for me..." Luke said blushing.

"About that...--"

**So? How'd ya like it? The next Chapter is going to be a bit hectic... I don't know when that's going to be up... I don't know how long this fic is going to be... I'm hoping above 5 chaps. Please review! I don't care if you critisize, just review! **


	3. Chappie Two: The Chase Begins

**Chappie Two: The Chase Begins**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars... So you can be sure I am NOT George Lucas :)**

**_Sweet.KRAZY03_: Thanks for the review! If it's meat you want, it's meat you'll get! hands you big beef steak**

**_Linwe Elendil: _Thank You so much for the support! Your review made me feel so special looks at nonexistent Ms. America crown. I'll try to add more detail to Luke's and Leia's characters.**

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Leia's brown eyebrow furrowed when she heard Luke's confession of his obsession with breakdancing.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked

"You wouldn't understand!" he retorted.

"You could've aske--" Leia stopped there realizing he was right. She was a skeptical person all together, and even if she had believed him she would be teasing him for the rest of his life.

They put breakdancing aside for the time being when they saw Sola stealthily exit the room. They crept into the guest room and gasped at the way she had "redecorated" her room. The rusty chains were in one corner of the room and the dagger was on top of a dusty book. The bed had straw on top of it. It seemed that the guest room of their luxirious home was transformed into an old barn. Leia picked up the book and saw on it the title: _How to survive eating humans safely_. That was is it, the twin's fears were confirmed.

They got to work dragging the heavy chains out of the room, Luke using the little of what he knew of the Force to levitate them so they wouldn't jingle. Leia hadn't received much Force training either and hadn't learned to control it yet so she pushed the flying chains by hand. Leia's attempts to use the Force had all been disastrous, ending in implosions or explosions of some piece of her mom's china or her dad's live podracing recordings. This convinced both of her parents that she would need to wait awhile before trying again.

Luke picked up the dagger so their "dear Auntie Sola" wouldn't have any weapon. He threw it out of the window into a bush with disgust.

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Padme was strolling in the mall glad to be out of the chaotic situation at home. _I hope the kids are ok...and Anakin... Why is Sola here? I haven't seen her in so long, we weren't talking for a while. Why was that? She was always keeping secrets. _Padme's thoughts grew too tiring and she decided to relax and have some fun... She was at the mall! She walked by the chocolate hover stand and thought she saw a chocolate Santa wink at her. She shuddered and decided she was imagining it. She decided she was just overstressed with the other senator from Naboo acting like a beef jerk, now Sola popping up out of nowhere! She walked into the haircuttery having convinced herself that there were no such things like winking chocolate Santas and that everything was going to be alright.

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"Haha! How you singed an "O" in that guy's shirt with your light saber! Those were the good times! What's that? You have to go buy your mother a coffee pot? Okay, nice talking to you Obi-Wan..." Anakin ended his conversation on the commlink with Obi-Wan and reluctantly hung up.

He no longer had an excuse to stay in his study, meaning he had to look for one. He thought of the wicked little radio control x-wing. _BINGO! I'll get the x-wing at the same time getting the boring Jedi Master Paperwork so if there's any doubt I'm doing paperwork! It's brilliant! _He glowed at his unaccountable brilliance to concoct plans for escaping his kids' wrath. _Now where had he left his x-wing?The guest room._ Anakin gulped.

He crept upstairs getting the large oversized binder full of paperwork. He sneaked into the guest room, glad that he heard two sets of voices from Leia's room. Anakin was not surprised to see straw on the bed, it seemed quite ordinary compared to the night's happenings. He saw his beloved x-wing and his face lit up in triumph. He grabbed it and dashed out of the room and down the stairs into his study.

Locking the room, he drew out a sigh of relief. The commlink rang with an incoming call from Padme.

"Anakin? Ani?" Padme's silky voice rang out.

"Yes? I'm here.." answered Anakin, wondering how he hadn't noticed how hot she was this morning.

Padme had apparently bought herself a tight dress emphasizing her lovliness and it made Anakin miss her even more.

"I ran into an old friend at the mall and it's getting late, and she invited me to dinner. I think I'll stay the night there. I won't if there's anything wrong in the house." Padme uncertainly said

Anakin almost groaned from displeasure. _If I tell her to come back, that means I couldn't handle it. (insert sigh) She needs her rest._

"Oh no! Have some fun! Everything's all right here... Everybody's happy!" Anakin lied through his teeth.

Padme raised an eybrow but continued on.

"Remember if you need me, I'm on Earth...Remember the kid's bedtime is in 15 minutes, but I'm sure you already told them that..."

"Of course..." Anakin said, faking a smile.

The commlink turned off and Anakin felt like weeping tears of self-pity. He marched upstairs to tell the kids to go to bed.

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He looked into Luke's room and found him already asleep. It was hot and stuffy in Luke's messy room with toys, books, and socks (eww) sprawled all over the room. Anakin opened the curtain and window to let air and the glistening moonlight in. Leia was in her bed in deep slumber like a little angel. _Awww..._thought Anakin. He locked their doors and shuffled past the guest bedroom.

He was about to look in the crack in the door wondering what his notorious sister-in-law was up to but as he leaned forward the door burst open. Anakin jumped back, rubbing his nose. He looked up at the being towering over him. It was hairy and it's teeth were extremely sharp. It's yellow eyes glinted evilly in the moonlight.

"Ms. Amidala? Are you okay?" Anakin whimpered as he attempted to talk his way out of the situation.

"GRRAARGHHHHHHHHH!" said the being in return. It was useless to try to persuade or even communicate with this thing.

Anakin wildly, arms flailing ran downstairs in search of his lightsaber. He tried to summon it with the Force but remembered he'd left it at work. _Of all the days to leave your lightsaber at home it has to be this one! Oh well, Padme probably wouldn't like it if I killed her sister. I wonder if she would mind if it lost a limb.. Hmm... _He ran out into his garage and hopped onto his speeder. Unfortunately there was another speeder parked there and Sola gladly took that one. Anakin raced around Naboo in search of a place to hide with his sister-in-law trailing after him.

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Anakin noticed his fuel gauge hitting zero as he crashed into a shop window. It was a clothing shop and the Jedi Master was covered in miniskirts and found he was sitting on mannequin's head. Scrambling up, he ran into the heart of the mall looking for somewhere to hide. Dashing past the chocolate booth a chocolate Santa called out:

"Hey buddy, over here, hide in that clothing rack! It won't find you there!"

Anakin didn't contemplate the weirdness of a talking, advice-giving, chocolate Santa and hid in the clothing rack. The hairy being ran by looking around.

"Hey babe, he's in the clothing rack!" whispered the chocolate Santa.

Sola snickered and walked over to the rack. She loomed over Anakin, chuckling. Anakin had only one thought: _If I get out of here, I'm going to eat that Santa and make him suffer!_

**So? How'd ya like it? Please feel free to leave a review! Hope you enjoy the cliffie! Btw, no chocolate Santas were hurt in the making of this fanfic, well except one...**


	4. Chapsta Three: Dealing with a Demon

**Chappsta Three: Dealing with a Demon**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, lightsabers, Jedis, Hayden Christensen(sigh), NOT even lightsaber spoons. Oh, cruel fate... bummer.**

**Although this chapter is not so Anakin concentrated (unfortunately) it is still an important part of the story. Frankly, I don't know what will happen to him yet... I just have a small idea that I need to work out. But for now, Enjoy!**

**Thank You for all your wonderful reviews!**

**_Sweet.KRAZY.03 _- Thank You! I liked Chapta Two a lot too!**

**_Jinn.Twins_ - OMG Thanks Sooo Much! Yes, Quigon squaredancing in a scubasuit would be a strange sight, it came to me suddenly. :)**

**A/N: When I mentioned yachts in Chapta One, I meant like actual boats, you know the ones that go swim-swim... (Boats don't actually go swim-swim, but in my weird mind they do)**

**NOW FOR THE STORY!**

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Luke woke up with a start in the middle of the night, he sensed a disturbance in the force... Although to his untamed force-sensitive mind it could have been a python angrily coughing up a gopher in a forest 2 miles away. _Or maybe it was-- no it can't be that... No!_ Luke nervously thought. He glanced around the room unsure of what could be lurking in the shadows. _I'm being silly... It can't be that.. It's my imagination playing tricks on me... I need to watch less horror holoflicks and I'll be all right..._Although his thoughts were persuasive and he really wanted to believe them, Luke still doubted them.

He crept out of his room silently,

"UGHH!"

or not... He had stepped on some grayish matty fur. _Since when do we have fur on our carpets! _Luke was not a fan of excessively furry things, he liked them slimy, like frogs and snakes... He peeked into his parent's room, nothing! Luke began to breathe nervously _What if it came? I have to tell Leia... everything._ He gulped at the unpleasantness of the thought.

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Leia heard a rustling and awoke with a start. She was tough and strong-willed, like her mother. Lately things were turning a strange way so she was feeling a bit wimpish. But, she convinced herself it was nothing and lay back down. She heard a whisper and her eyes fluttered open. _Leia--Leia--Leia!_ Now this was too much for a girl, strong-willed she may be, but this was down right creepy! She faced the wall and lay down on her side...

"Leia!"

Bursting from anger and a strange form of curiousity, her head whipped around to come face to face with a dark figure... Leia yelped in surprise but through quickness of thought she found the lightswitch. It was none other than Luke. She sighed, then her eyes showed anger, she tensed up, and gave Luke "the look".

"Don't do that again! EVER!" she said assertively.

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Luke went through the arduous process of explaining that both their parents were mysteriously missing and he didn't know what to do.

" Who could have done this?" Leia conveniently asked.

Luke groaned at the thought of her expression when she heard.

"Um.. I might know... I think...I think that it's--"

"Well?" Leia impatiently glared.

"I think it's all my fault..." Luke spat out.

He watched as Leia's eyebrows lifted and she looked at him with interest. Her body language showed that she was just plain demanding to hear some answers, right then and there. So Luke delved into his memories and prepared to share his experience...

"Remember last summer?"

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He remembered it clearly now:

Last summer they visited Yoda in his summer home. It was sort of a vacation thing... Luke found the little beach cottage excruciatingly boring and decided to read some books in the library. Leia was always out water-skiing, swimming, or taking wind-surfing lessons. Luke had cut his arm on a nail the first day, and although his father had healed it using the Force he still didn't feel like doing any outdoor activities. He refused to admit it, but he was a nerd... Yoda worried about Luke's extensive stay in the library of the old cottage but Luke always managed to sneak in.

"Bad is that habit of the youngling, tragedy will strike him, strike it will..." Yoda would nag.

The truth was that Luke had found an old book in the library. It told of ancient summoning spells... Luke took it for an extremely interesting fantasy book and by the 5th day had read it all. He wanted to try one of the summoning "spells", like a simple game to play. He picked out the most complex and powerful one and decide to try it out. In 4 days he had compiled the ingredients and was ready. He had waited for the perfect moment when everyone went hiking and Luke had decided to stay behind, and he gave an excuse of a prophetic Force enhanced dream where he had picked carrots, so he felt obligated to pick carrots that day. But Luke was definitely not picking carrots...

As the cauldron ( actually a bathtub) was boiling, Luke said some magic words. Nothing happened. Luke chuckled and decided that this was the most entertaining game he had recently played. Suddenly his laughter stopped when he saw a large dark figure form from out of the bathtub, it started laughing. Luke found his power draining as something seeped into him...

An hour later he regained conciousness. Luke was a bit frightened but brushed off the fear. He was wrong to do so...

The second Thursday of every month at exactly 11:58pm Luke would be possesed by the being. He never knew what he did, but in the mornings he always found something wrong in the newspapers. Speeder crashes due to a little boy standing in the road, robberies and etc. He tried to resist but the being got angry and was too powerful for Luke to control. The demon (as Luke began to consider it as) was always around. Luke could sense it's presence and could never chase it away. It lurked until the second Thursday of every month...

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And so Luke ended his tale, head hung low... Leia started off softly,

"What you did was... EXTREMELY STUPID!"

"I know!I kind of figured that out by now!" screamed Luke. (This talk of supernatural beings turned into a quarrel)

"What about the breakdancing? Was that somehow connected to the being? Did it order you to kidnapp my holodisks?" Leia asked demandingly.

"Oh, that... That was just a way to relieve stress."

"Ok, then.. What we're going to do is--"

"Yep! You don't know what to do, smarty skirts!" Luke continued the squabble.

"Yes I do, you brainless fish off of Coruscant!" Leia yelled back.

"Then what?Ms. I'm-so-much-smarter-than-my-freaky-possesed-brother!"

"We're going to call Yoda!" Leia answered back calmly.

Luke couldn't think of anything wrong with that idea so he shut up as he stared out of the window at the rising sun...

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**It might seem kind of dark but this is humor/horror... On a lighter note: I promise the next chapter will be Anakin filled... And less creepiness.**


	5. Chappy Four: Serenity Now!

**Chappy 4: Serenity Now!**

**I'm back with the new chappy! Very important chappy, I've been looking forward to this one... The title is very random so don't expect to get anything from it...**

**Thank You for all your reviews!**

**_Sweet.KRAZY.03 _- Yes, this is getting interesting! The Demon comes into play later in the story. **

**_JinnTwins _- Personally, I'm not one for creepiness without humor, so the obligation to pick carrots was necessary for that Chapter to get published.**

**And so the story begins...**

**A/N: If you are sympathetic with Chocolate Santas, no matter how cavernous and evil they are, then you should not continue beyond this chapter. D**

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Anakin woke up drowsily as the first rays of dawn in his face through the shop display he had recently unintentionally vandalized. He was so hungry he could devour a Death Star ( if Death Stars came in assorted flavors of Chocolate, Vanilla, Strawberry, and New! Tropical Punch...). He shielded his face yawning trying to recall last night's events. He itched his gigantic scar where Sola had bit him before. He couldn't remember what had happened after the Chocolate Santa had impudently betrayed him. It was like a gigantic black spot in his memory. This had never happened to him, the only incident he could remember that had him suffering from strokes of amnesia was the time he had "a few" or more than that at a Jedi Master Christmas Party, they had to hire a taxi speeder to take him home. He shook his head in disdain at the memory and decided that that was not the reason for his blackout.

He looked at the sleeping form of Sola, still not in human form yet, and shuddered. He came up to a shop window and glanced at his ruffled mullet. But his eyes caught something else in his reflection. Anakin gasped and stumbled backward. He was hairy! He had fur and teeth too sharp for his liking, his shirt was ripped. He growled at the loss of the shirt then realised that he was genuinely _growling._ He looked at his fingernails which looked like claws. The reflection's large yellow eyes gazed back at him. Then he noticed as the moon was disappearing out of view he was reverting to his previous more hotter and more human form. His fingernails became fingernails and he was rapidly growing less furry. He was overjoyed at the sight of his old self.

"Whopee!" He shrieked.

"Hands up!" said a gruff male voice.

Anakin turned around and found his nose in contact with a ray gun. _Where is my lightsaber when I need it? _he thought. Then he recalled the fact that he was at the mall and that _his_ speeder was lying crashed in the shop window display and that he _himself_ was standing there at a time outside of mall hours. He saw in the corner of his eye that Sola was being seized as his accomplice. He was going to let out a grin but remembered the situation he was in, and that if he grinned they would think he was insane. As he walked by the chocolate stand, the Chocolate Santa giggled. Anakin couldn't take it anymore, leapt forward and bit off the Santa's head. He was seized, handcuffed and led away into a police speeder. He didn't think his victory over the Santa would help in this predicament but he was happy to get his revenge.

Anakin was thrust into a cell with his sister-in-law. He had put up a fight letting out cries of _I'm a Jedi Master! _or _My wife is a senator!_ and his last attempt: _I'll eat your brains if you don't let me go!_. The latter scared the officers but put them on guard, so they were sure to tighten their helmets.

"Now, Ms.Amidala, tell me what in Darth Maul's pencil pouch is going on here?" Anakin demanded.

"Okay, this book will explain it all, since now you're part of the club" Sola sadly answered.

She took out a dusty book entitled _How to survive eating humans safely..._ Anakin's eye twitched.

"I am most definetely not a cannibal!" he angrily retorted.

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Sola rolled her eyes and blowed on the book, blowing away the dust. The new title was _How to survive not eating humans safely... The werewolf's guide to survival._

"You mean to say, I'm a--" Anakin stuttered.

"Yep! Welcome to club! On Tuesdays we bake dinner rolls, you're welcome to attend!" Sola cheerily answered.

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**Meanwhile Obi-Wan was looking at his new coffee pot he had bought for his mother as an Easter present... Never mind! This had nothing to do with our story...**

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Luke picked up the commlink and dialed his mother's number... She was perfectly alright and wondered why Luke was asking such strange questions. She would be home soon and had an incoming call so she had to hang up. _Great... Now Leia knows... And I told her for nothing! _Luke thought grumpily. _Dad probably fell asleep in his study while doing his paperwork. _Luke's thoughts did not please him.

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Padme turned on her commlink as she got an incoming call from Naboo police. Her first thought was _Luke! What did he do this time? Did he joyride on Anakin's speeder again? For a pre-teen he's too independent._ But as soon as the conversation began she realised her fears had not been justified.

"Are you Mrs.Skywalker? Is your husband Mr.Anakin Skywalker?" the police officer asked.

"Ye-aahh.." Padme answered as if it was obvious.

"Are you a senator?" the man nervously continued.

"Yes! Get on with it!"

"Oh, good he's not crazy..." he muttered. "Mrs. Skywalker, your husband was found in the mall this morning for some odd reason. You may come and bail him out.. like now..."

Padme raised an eyebrow.

"Thank You for your cooperation... bye! And also, your sister is here too..." the officer said impatiently and hung up.

Padme put away the commlink, utterly confused. She hopped onto her speeder and set course for Naboo.

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Leia pushed her brother to the commlink after finally finding Yoda's number in her father's messy unalphabetized address book. Luke gulped at the thought of confessing to Yoda. But Leia was a strong-minded and willful sibling, too stubborn for his liking. As his confession poured out Yoda listened patiently. When Luke finally ended his tale Yoda retorted.

"Don't you say that I didn't tell you so, willful youngling"

Luke rolled his eyes at the comment.

"When are you coming?" Luke impatiently asked.

"Since experience you did not any Force-enhanced dreams about picking carrots, this incident will take a while to research" Yoda slowly replied in his usual ungrammatical tone.

**Sola is a werewolf! Mwahahahaahahahahahahaaaaaaa! I luv it! Do you? Please review...**


	6. Ch 5: Leave the gun, take the canoli

**Chappster Five: Leave the gun, take the canoli...**

**Sorry I'm a bit off schedule this time, no real enlightenment this week. But as you see, it came! Meh' own words inspired me... (weird moment was experienced)**

**Disclaimer: For the fifth time, I don't own Star Wars!**

**If any of you have ever seen a certain movie the title should give you a clue.**

**_Jinn.Twins _- Meh' diligent readers, thanks so much for your very nice reviews.**

**_Sweet.KRAZY03 _- What can I say, this chapter will be totally different from yours.**

**And now get ready for it! Your host for tonight will be... What host? OK, never mind going on...**

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Anakin felt like he had been invited to join to a _Housewives United for the Causes of Housewiveness Club _rather than a gang of werewolves, which he was now part of. No. He couldn't accept that. He refused to accept that. Every full moon to lose his attractive face, no, he couldn't bear it. Anakin's subconcious knew that he had to accept it. As Anakin tried to convince himself time and time again that this was a dream he saw something that assured him it wasn't.

Padme walked in to the police station waiting for the door of his cell to be opened. Except he saw something that doubted that this was Padme. She had a very flustered look on her face. His wife, a senator, had never looked so distraught.

"Ani, did you sleep all right without your blanky?" She said softly clumsily stepping forward.

"It's not a blan--" he stopped arguing, this was Padme all right...

For some odd reason she looked like she had been force-choked by her closest-loved-one-turned-evil and left to die being impregnated with twins... But that couldn't be it...

Suddenly a bony, tall, man with a goatee and a prominent scar on his left cheek came out from behind her. He had a raygun in his hand and he was pointing it straight at Padme's back.

"Quit the mushy stuff and get on out of the cell!" he said in a strange accent that Anakin recognized as one spoken on a boot-shaped peninsula he once visited on some distant planet. _What was it? Earr.. Earwigs! Yes! I think it was on Earwigs IV that they spoke that... No, it was Earr.. Earth! Or something like that... Oh, yeah I was attacked by a bunch of teenage girls that time. Earth._

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Padme couldn't believe this was happening to her. This situation would be on her top 10 most improbable situations she had ever been in #1 being the time she went to Jiffy Lube to be attacked by the G.F.M.E.M. (Giant Flying Man-Eating Mushrooms). This would have to be number two. Her husband and sister were in a prison cell. She had been winked at by a Chocolate Santa the day before. She was now taken hostage by the Galaxy Mafia. The Galaxy Mafia likes Bojangles. The Galaxy Mafia agreed to stop on the way to Bojangles to bail out her husband and sister. Yoda had just called that he would be staying at her house for a few months and he was taking her children to Bojangles. All these events surrounded her in a whirlwind of enigmatic chaos and for one of the only times in her life she was confused, distraught, and flustered.

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Anakin, his wife, and his sister-in-law were escorted into a limo. Once they were all in the car the gazes of the four other people reverted to them. The chauffer chuckled. Suddenly a stately robot began talking in a rusty voice.

" This is the Galaxy Mafia... I'm Godfather DonBot 3000 version 2.23478 code 1011100100111, but you can call me The Godfather. The one behind wheel, that gent, we call him The Chaffeur... The carbon life forms (humanoids) are Tony and Bony..." he said the latter pointing to Tony, a big neanderthalish ball of jelly and Bony, the one who escorted them to the vehicle.

Anakin looked as if he had just seen C3P0 get married to a can of _Easy Cheese. _ Padme sighed and shook her head. Sola looked as if she was off to _Wet n' Wild _ with free admission.

"Now listen up, we're going to eat at Bojangles, then hold up Bojangles. You're going to be hostages. Oh, and before that, would you like a burger or nuggets?" The Godfather continued.

Anakin and Padme were in no condition to order so Sola said:

"3 burgers please."

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Luke sat happily munching burgers. Leia thought this was not the time to be eating when her brother was possesed by an evil spirit, but was convinced when offered a Mountain Dew. The serenity of the little fast food joint calmed her nerves. The serenity was ruined by the yell of :

"This is a stick-up! Everyone freeze!"

Leia sighed, so much for serenity... She thought she recognized a few faces standing next to the felons.

"Mom? Dad? Auntie?"...

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**Chapter 5 is done! Mwahhaaha... Yes the Mafia Motif is quite unexpected for this chapter but this is how far meh' imagination took me...**


	7. Chappie Six: Off to the Bin

**Chappie Six: Off to the Bin**

**Hello Everybody! Sorry to make you wait soooooooo long... I'm verry verry VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY SORRY! Now you get how VERY VERY etc SORRY I am...**

**Disclaimer: I am not George Lucas, and meh' passport proves it!**

**_Jinn.Twins _I'm so happy you keep reviewing! I just hope you haven't lost hope in the story!**

**So I offer deepest condolences to anyone who is reading my fic (if anyone is actually reading) so to repay for the agonizing (or happy) month of waiting I am going to dun. dun. dun... (INSERT DRUMROLL) PUBLISH TWO CHAPTERS AT ONCE!**

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Sadly the Galactic Mafia decided to hold-up Bojangles at the wrong time... For it was... Breakfast time! Six policeman were doing their daily ritual of consuming a sugary, fatty, and unhealthy meal by the name of... a donut... They knew they were going to be laid off pretty soon, since none of them had a high metabolism. So the six policemen decided to prove their worth for a final time before being disgracefully discharged. They jumped from their seats like agile fat kids during gym and tried to make super heroe poses but they found lunging with their hands outstreched with pistols in them would probably cause their pants to burst at the seams they reconciled to a James Bond pose. The Galactic Mafia underestimated the sextuplet **(sorry for the odd word) **and chuckled at their failed attempts to look sexy. But even though the policemen were fitness handicapped they still worked efficiently, although they did take Padme, Anakin, and Sola as accomplices of the Galactic Mafia.

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Anakin and Padme Skywalker were sitting in a prison cell, Anakin for the second time that morning, were imploring the police chief to explain the situation. The chief was a nice man overall and decided to hear their side of the story. When Anakin began with him being chased by a werewolf that turned out to be his sister-in-law, that he was now a werewolf himself, that it was a mistake that he was taken in, the police chief raised an eyebrow and looked as if he was being told that his tea pot turned to the Dark Side and was now plaguing the countryside with evil folk songs. As Padme continued about how she was kidnapped and that the Galactic Mafia liked Bojangles, the police chief face relaxed as if he had just understood something and started smiling and nodding.

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Leia was still frozen in the position she was in as the Galactic Mafia and her parents were being taken in after the policemen had done several awkward poses. Luke seemed unconcerned with the world around him and was modeling his squished french fry into a Jedi Starfighter. Leia looked dismayed at the events around her and looked at Yoda hoping for a reassuring gaze or a philosophical explanation of the incident. Yoda just shrugged his shoulders and said:

"Don't worry little one, no happenings shall occur with your parents or aunt, and if they do I am a 900 year old bachelor whose always wanted some adoptive children"

Leia furrowed her brown eyebrows at Yoda as if demanding a more reasonable consolation than at but received none. She only heard Luke's sound effects as his awkward french fry/Jedi Starfighter lifted off.

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The police chief, now fully calm and confident as in what to do, said:

"Mr. and Mrs. Skywalker everything will be all right, a policeman will take you where necessary"

He leaned over and whispered something into a policeman's ear. Sola didn't try to explain herself but merely sat there and smiled a naive smile.

"As for Ms. Amidala, you'll stay here for a brief time then be escorted to your dwelling" the policeman said in a strict tone.

Padme and Anakin looked gratefully at the policeman and relaxed. They were escorted into the car where they leaned back and gazed at eachother finally remembering who they were...

" So, we're going home?" Padme asked.

The chaffeur merely answered,

"Missus, you're going to a wonderful place"

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As they pulled up to a perfectly cubical white building Padme exclaimed,

"This is some mistake, this isn't our home!"

"It will be for the next several months!" chuckled the chaffeur..

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**Off to the Bin... the LOONY BIN! Well, this is where my strange imagination led me today... Please review NOW! Just Kidding, but really, please review... Stay tuned? I guess for the next chapter it will come probably in several hours or tomorrow, but it shall come! If it doesn't you can send me an overgrown pirrhana in the mail if you know where I live...**


	8. Chappter 7: Asylum Break

**Chappter Seven: Asylum Break**

**Disclaimer: I don't own STAR WARS nor do I want to have such a huge responsibility. ( I'm very absent-minded)**

**A/N: I changed the title of the whole story because I decided the other didn't fit it too well. For now the title might seem a bit random, but that will clear up later in the story...**

**Umm.. no one really reviewed but that's ok...**

**NO IT ISN'T! has nervous breakdown**

**I'm ok...**

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Anakin and Padme were led into the white building and down a white corridor and into a white lobby and were seated in two plushy white chairs. The room was underfurnished with only the few chairs they sat on and a large-sized white armchair that stood in the corner of the room. They sat down without a word as if their voices were crushed by menancing _whiteness_ of the room. Then a figure entered the room. He was bony and stocky. He was dressed in all white ( as to be expected), his mouth curved into a sly smile and his eyes glittered upon seeing the couple. It seemed as if his mind had cavernous plans forming as he slowly and confidently walked torwards with wide, relaxed strides. He straightened his white doctor's hat, and sat down into the equally white armchair across from them. He put his hands together and had a composed look on his face as he made himself the large and dominating figure in the room.

" Welcome Mr. and Mrs. Skywalker, how nice to have you here.." His croaky voice rang out and echoed across the room. He waited for a response or greeting but finding only Padme's stone gaze he continued on with his elegant speech.

"Now before we begin with our tour and getting you settled down, there's one more thing..." he trailed off. Anakin gulped. Padme straightened her posture.

The doctor animatedly jumped up from his armchair, put his hands together, and yelped like a little girl:

"Can I have your autograph!"

Anakin was thoroughly surprised and managed only to stutter.

"Sssure'"

The doctor ushered off to get some paper and pen. Padme could hardly believe they were in a professional medical center and rolled her eyes. After the doctor received his autograph he led them onto a tour of the hospital. Each white corridor seemed exactly the same as he led them down saying:

" And this is our kleptomaniac division... And this is the pyromaniac one... And this one is the kleptomaniac and pyromaniac simultaneously... And this, I think you'll like Mister Anakin..."

"Master Anakin for you" gruffly answered the Jedi Master.

" Err.. right... Master Anakin... this is the fangirl division.. They've all gone crazy being crazy over how hot you are... You should visit them sometime, they'll be so happy."

Anakin shuddered with the vision of how he would enter and be stampeded by crazy teenage girls. As the tour came to an end the doctor smiled and said,

" We're so happy to have you with us, we always knew you'd come here eventually! Being the weird hot guy you are!"

Anakin smiled uncomfortably. Padme at the time was feeling neglected _No senator fan girl division huh? Well, you know what! I don't want your stupid senator fangirl division anyways!_

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As they settled down into their white room together, Anakin lay down on the cot and gazed up into the ceiling. A knock came at the door bringing dinner.

"Oh, Monseir! We're so excited to have you here! We've even made you a desert, look it's a little cake in the shape of a lightsaber!"

Anakin started gulfing down his cake as the cook left the room. Padme made an unexpected outburst:

" THAT'S IT WE'RE LEAVING! I'M TIRED OF THIS PLACE!"

"Honey, what's wrong with it? I think they have good service and besides, we can't leave even if we wanted to!"

"That's why we're escaping!"

"But!"

"No buts! Use the Force to remove the glue that's gluing this window shut"

"Fine, very well"

Anakin stood and began to progress removing the glue, but this process was hard due to workers bursting in every 10 minutes to ask for autographs.

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Meanwhile, Yoda was pondering in the study while Luke and Leia bursted out with suggestion of how to get rid of the demon.

" Poison it with jelly"

"Use a fire extinguisher"

"Stab it!"

" Younglings, please help Yoda and shut up...The magic that binds young Luke is very ancient and is directly in connection with the Force, attempts at homicide won't subdue it."

As this conversation engaged Yoda, Luke, and Leia, Sola crept past the study, packed her bags and took the only remaining speeder to a distant far away planed called Earth... (insert suspenseful music here)

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At night when the constant flow of visitors stopped (including girls from the fangirl division), Anakin finished off the glue and looked on what the escape plan had to offer by poking his head out of the window.

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Meanwhile, Obi Wan was returning the coffee pot, because he suddenly remembered his mother hated coffee. The store was near a loony bin which puzzled him greatly he driving by it's wall, because he decided a shortcut couldn't hurt.

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As Anaking poked himself out the window he fell out and was only saved by Padme grabbing his Jedi robes. But, alas, he progressed slipping torwards his doom as he found out they were on the third floor. The awkward sight of Mr. and Mrs. Skywalker hanging out of a window will puzzle some. Padme couldn't hold his robes any longer as she too slipped out of the window and the couple plummeted down to their deaths. Or more accurately on top of Obi Wan's speeder.

**Please Read and Review!**


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